Euclid, Gauss, Voltaire,
They all sound debonair.
But I don't really care;
they make me lose my hair.

Math and science are a pair,
they give me quite a scare.
Numbers are an endless stair,
and electrons fill the air.

Literature oft has flair,
but more oft it doth dare
relay crap so hard to bare
I'd rather eat my chair.

I take solace in my code
for it's my true abode.
But Irony - that's a load!
I write fractal simulations... Sanity implodes.

Ladies and gentlemen, hackers and noobs,
insane crustations and horse-riding dudes.
A meeting is beginning that has already ended,
and in conclusion we shall all start befriended.
The topic to discuss in the time not permitted:
a conflict between two brands dim-witted.

One bright day in the middle of the night
two flimsy brands got up to fight.
Gui to gui they tex'd each other;
drew their mice and sued the other.

One was crap, the other a wanna-be,
so they stuck some ads on tv.
A lawyer came to sue fair play;
a fanboy came to brag all day.

A Finnish penguin passing by
kicked the crappy brand into the sky.
He came back down with a shattering thud
that knocked all the apples into the mud.

An Australian puppy who could better understand
came to overthrow the two flimsy brands.
If you don't believe this story is true,
ask the crustation, he saw it too.